彼女は牧師になる宿命だったと私は思う。でも俗世的な理由をつければ、普通の女子大生だった彼女をこの道に導いたのは、婚約者の突然の事故死だった。彼が亡くなった時、知人に「神様はきっと彼をあなた以上に必要としたのよ」と諭されたと言う。彼の死に神が関わりあるという解釈なんか受け入れられないと思った彼女は、それを否定するために、先ず神が自分の苦しみの中にどのように存在するのかを確かめようと考え、神学校に進み、牧師となる。
以前は地元の病院のホスピス部署を統括していた。いつも死と向き合っていて落ち込まないかと、聞いたことがある。その時彼女が言ったのは、「死は誰もが経験する自然なことだから受け入れられる」と。また「人が亡くなる時に何を言ったらベストなのは私にもわからない。ただその人と家族のためにそばにいたいだけなの」と話してくれた。
長い付き合いの中で、私は彼女と宗教や神、倫理や信仰などの話をするのが一番好きだ。というのも一般的に堅いとか重いと思われる話も彼女が相手だと気楽に話せるからだろう。例えばパジャマのままでとか、ワインを飲みながらとか。彼女にとって宗教とか信仰は日常の一部だから、こちらも畏まらずに話せる気がする。
義姉のアドバイスには昔から助けられている。結婚してすぐにアメリカの平和部隊を通じてアフリカに行くと力んでいた私に、“結婚という新生活を未知の国で始めるのは無謀”と止め、言語が遅い息子のことが心労だった私に、“ありのままの彼を受け止めてあげるべき”と諭してくれた。この家に嫁いで良いことはたくさんあるが、こういう姉妹ができたことは特にラッキーと思う。彼女の他に二人もいることは何とも嬉しい。
by ゆき子
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私のヒーロー My Hero |
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| ５人の娘たち The Five Daughters |
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My big sister-in-law is my hero. She communicates with the Almighty on a regular basis as a minister of the Episcopal Church, is a dynamic preacher who gives moving sermons and is the coolest servant of God that I have ever met. She is also a wife of over thirty years to a Civil War scholar and a mother to five beautiful daughters. But personally, I love her for her wisdom that has guided me through the turning points and not-so-easy times in my life.
I believe she was destined for ministry. However, on a temporal level, it was the death of her fiancée during college that pushed her in this direction. At his death, an acquaintance said to her that God must have needed him more than she did. This was not an idea she could embrace or accept. So being who she is, she decided that if she was prepared to reject this idea of where God was in his death, she needed to find out for herself where God might be in the midst of her pain. So she went to divinity school and became a minister, and the rest, as they say, is history.
Before becoming a minister for the current parish, she was responsible for the hospice arm of a hospital. I asked her how she could deal with death on a regular basis and not let it get to her. What she told me was that she believes death to be just a natural part of the human experience and that, “although there is no perfect thing to say, I think it important to just be there for the patients and their loved ones.”
What I enjoy about being with her is that we can talk about things like human mortality and God, or religion and faith, without all the formality. Like while wearing pajamas or when drinking a glass of wine. She makes it easy to do this. I think this is because for my sister-in-law, spirituality is just a part of everyday life.
Her wisdom is what stopped me from going to Africa with the Peace Corps the first year of our marriage (“one adjustment is plenty”) and what got me through my concern over my son’s speech delay (“you’ve gotta accept him for who he is”), among other things.
There are many reasons to appreciate the family I married into, but having this sister-in-law as a constant in my life is definitely a big one. How lucky am I to have two more.
by Yuki
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